Warning: You are about to witness materialism at its finest.

Every once in a while I come across an item that I MUST have. I will go to great lengths to find it and acquire it. And I mean absurd, crazy, astronomical lengths. When I’m lucky it’s as simple as walking into a store and buying it… but often when you’re browsing online, it’s not so simple.

I have fallen in love with the necklace above. I saw it in an engagement post on a photographer’s blog. It has jcrew written all over it but it’s not on the website nor is it showing up in any of my google or ebay searches.

I have searched:

crystal pearl necklace
crystal pearl twist necklace
crystal pearl braided necklace
rhinestone pearl necklace
rhinestone pearl twist necklace
rhinestone pearl braided necklace
jcrew crystal pearl necklace
jcrew crystal pearl twist necklace
jcrew crystal pearl braided necklace
jcrew rhinestone pearl necklace
jcrew rhinestone pearl twist necklace
jcrew rhinestone pearl braided necklace

The results are painfully close but still not successful.

The correct construction, but not the right materials…

Knotted pearls and chains…

Braided but no rhinestones, and this is a bracelet…

Braided pearls and rhinestones but still not it. This one is a bracelet too.

REALLY CLOSE but no pearls.

I’ve already spent hours searching online and I’ve found NOTHING. No idea what it’s called or where it’s from. Yesterday I went into a jcrew store and asked if I could look at their old catalogs. I stood there flipping through hundreds of pages hoping to find it, but in vain.

I think my next plan of action will be to post this on yahoo answers or some public online forum to see if anyone recognizes it lol.

If anyone knows what the necklace is called or where it is from… please please let me know!!! Even if it’s not in stores anymore it would help me look for it elsewhere.

For the past couple of weeks, my parents have revisited a fun little activity known as house hunting. They come home and tell me stories about the houses they look at and how the realtors try to sell them properties by telling them about the playground across the street. (I’m sure they like hearing that… little do the realtors know that they have a college graduate and another “child” working towards his degree.) Yeah, yeah, all is fun and games until somebody decides to get serious.

I might be moving in a month.

Here is why I am very upset by this news.

1. I am extremely sentimental… even when it comes to material things. I’ve mentioned this in my xanga before, I’m sure. When I was younger I would pout and sulk when my parents bought new furniture or kitchen appliances. It was that bad. This is the house I grew up in… though I want to leave, that doesn’t mean I don’t ever want to come back. I had always imagined my parents staying here forever.

2. I want a place of my own. Sooooo, sooooooooooo bad. My parents would rent out our current house… and… I don’t really know how to explain it, but I feel like it drives home the reality that I can’t afford to support myself yet. I wish renting this house from them was an option but I can’t even afford half of the rent. If I could, then I would be living on my own by now. I absolutely love to daydream but this situation made it sink in how far I am from my financial goals.

3. It’s all happening so fast. They have to make an offer now… there are time restraints… etc etc etc. Cool, so I have to pack up all the things I’ve accumulated in my life and move out in a month? I’m not taking the news very well. Granted, nothing is set in stone YET… but it seems like a very real possibility.

The reason why they want a new house is because they want more space. My mom wants a grand piano and my dad wants a three car garage.

I want them to stay here.

And if we moved away, Carly would no longer be across the street!!!!! :’(

Sorry I’ve been posting so much about the same things. Here’s a close up shot of the necklace I’m wearing in my profile picture… the one that inspired that photo shoot in Malaysia.

I’m wearing it right now!!

My mom’s friend (Jonathan Yun) made the necklace by sculpting a mold from wax. He doesn’t have a website but there are lots of articles about his work. Here’s an excerpt from The Star Online.

“I’m very drawn towards forms in nature,” he explains. “I look for design possibilities in these forms, and how to work them into artistic yet wearable pieces of jewelry. Then, when I’m working on the design, I get inspired by what the piece represents.”

As an example, he talks about how the shapes of various ferns are represented in his designs within his Flora collection.

“The crosier (the coiled end of a fern) speaks so much to me about potentiality and a fresh beginning. That inspires me as I’m working on the piece.”

Haha… wow. What a coincidence, how that fits so perfectly with my xanga name.

Sometimes I feel like I need therapy. Those ugly thoughts and emotions have been slowly creeping back into my mind and they consume me. I know that I’m destroying myself. I know that I’m making myself miserable. But there’s nothing I can do to make the feelings go away. Will they ever go away?

I had a wonderfully therapeutic talk with my best friend from high school. We’ve grown apart over the years but especially in the past year and a half since I graduated college. I’ve talked about this with many friends but her words meant the most… maybe because she knew the history behind what I was telling her. After we talked it seemed like there was nothing to worry about. She made me feel like everything would be okay in the end… As if I could conquer myself and win the battle.

The problem is, her comfort only lasts so long.

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I want to go one month without hurting myself emotionally, starting today. I’ll take it one day at a time.

Last week I had a dime-sized purple mark on the left side of my face because of Ryan. He finds it entertaining to suck on my face like a vaccuum, no kidding. It’s annoying. He probably does it because of my negative reactions. His parents, especially his dad, had fun teasing him because of it…

Mr. Baker: Don’t be giving her another hickey on the face, Ryan. The trick is to make sure it’s WELL HIDDEN.

Me and Ryan: …………………. o.O

Ryan’s mom and sister: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Daniel is a childhood friend of mine. Our families attended the same church from 1988-1996 (until my family moved away). I think he was the first boy who grew up before my eyes… it’s hard to explain, but when you’re a kid, you don’t really witness puberty until it happens to someone you know. LOL. I remember the first time I heard his voice after it changed and I couldn’t believe it was the same person!! It made me depressed for a while HAHAHA. I didn’t like the fact that he was growing up and I didn’t want to grow up either.

Long story short, we’ve known each other for many years and now he’s a hot shot youtube dancer. He offered to teach me some moves but I would look SO silly, I immediately declined the offer.

He won the Dr. Pepper Dance Video contest!!!!

Aside from dancing, Daniel is also a painter – check out his painting in the background of this video.

He told me to edit the smiling photos first because they would “go better with your style” lol.

Good luck DKwan, you’re gonna go far.

This afternoon I made a trip down to one of my favorite stores – Paper Source!!! I’ve been ordering “boutique packaging” from various printing labs and I have come to the conclusion that it is WAY overpriced. Six dollars for a card stock envelope and cheap paper ribbon? Puh-lease. These envelopes at Paper Source caught my eye months ago and I thought about using them for my business, but didn’t have much of a use for them at the time… so I was very excited to go back and stock up on them today. 50% off!!!!

Of course, what could possibly top a trip to Paper Source? The presence of my best friend. He even helped me calculate prices and choose what color ribbon to buy.

While we were there I browsed through the entire store and let my mind spill over with creative ideas. Stamps! Do they have a stamp with a fern leaf on it? (No, they did not.) Mailing labels! Green ones to further coordinate my packaging. Thank you cards! There was a really pretty set with ferns on it but it was like $11 for a set of 8 cards. Bleh, too expensive.

I would so much rather deal with all the pretty aesthetic details of branding my company than the financial aspects of it. Very jealous and in admiration of female business owners who know what they’re doing with managing money. (That means you, Van.)

Since I still don’t have a logo with a fern design YET, I’m beginning to look at existing products with ferns on them to use in the meantime.

These notecards by Barbara Neely are cute!!

After searching Google images for “fern stationary”, I moved on to “fern wedding invitations”:

I love those envelopes!!! I could totally use them for correspondence with my clients!

And then I came across this:

At first I laughed at even the idea of having ferns on your cake, but I actually like the color and design of these ferns. (Not that I would EVER get a cake like this.) I mean, compared to what came next after scrolling down… this one is by far the best…

LOLLLL.

So there you have it – I managed to talk about all three of my current obsessions in a single blog entry. I need to get a life.

I spent most of today editing wedding photos. I also wanted to order a few mini albums, design a wedding album, design a CD cover, finalize a marketing plan, order prints, update my photography blog, photograph new samples AND make a trip to the post office… but that was probably a bit too much to hope for.

At least I got one thing crossed off the list.

I got coffee with a friend the other day and we were talking about photography (it’s all I talk about, really…). I was showing him some of the designs I received from a graphic designer. He pointed out that I should hire a female designer instead. According to him, women make things softer and gentler when it comes to design and photography. It seemed like a silly generalization and it probably is… but I began to realize just how TRUE it was.

For example… this was one of the logos that the male designer gave me.

I don’t like it at all. It’s going in the opposite direction of what I wanted. Too stiff and professional.. it looks like a real estate company!

Another example is noticing how a lot of my guy friends edit their photos. Lots of contrast. Here’s Arianna from my friend’s perspective:

And my perspective:

BIG difference!!

One thing I don’t like about Ryan’s family is their strange diet!!! They eat their meals with bread AND rice because his dad likes bread and his mom grew up eating rice. Too many carbs for me… I always opt for just one option when I’m at their house. But the rest of the family eats both. Whatever, they can do what they want, it just doesn’t seem healthy to me…

And lately the only vegetable his mom has been cooking is green beans. Apparently it’s the only veggie his dad will eat. I was under the impression that they don’t have any nutritious benefits, but I found an article that proved me wrong.

http://www.ehow.com/about_5046198_nutrients-green-beans.html

HOWEVER, the iceberg lettuce salads do not have any nutrients at all!

Hahahaha I love them regardless, and his mom is a great cook. I hope we aren’t having green beans and salad again tonight.