It’s time to find a new planner.

I know for sure I’ve written about this before (who knows when), but I’m passionate enough about the topic to reiterate my thoughts. I am all about the aesthetics of the planner. I’ve tried palm pilot, Google calendar, etc, but nothing can compare to the satisfaction of scribbling notes with a pencil in a carefully chosen notebook.

Everything has to be right. The cover material. The feel of the paper. The size. The design. The layout. I’ve even had planners pass all these tests, only to be rejected because I didn’t like the font. As you can guess, it usually takes numerous trips to several stores before I find something that I like. My planner for 2010 was large and thin; black leather, with pages edged in gold. It worked wonders as a mouse pad too. I do love whimsical designs but I chose this one for its sophistication and I’m leaning towards the same look for this year.

I’m sure I saw planners in stores as early as October/November, but I purposely avoided them because I knew how difficult it would be to find exactly what I want. It’s a daunting task.

Here’s to finding the perfect planner! Cheers.

I need more time alone.

I’ve written a number of entries in my head but they never made it to the computer. Sad face. I’ll do my best to make up for it though – this week I’m going to spend a lot of time at home in my room.

I had fifteen photo shoots in December. FIFTEEN!!! That averages out to a shoot every other day! Being the optimistic idiot that I am, I told everyone they would get their photos in a week. Hmmm… totally forgot about the holidays and how that would have an effect on my work schedule. Whoops. Next time I know to send out an email to tell all my clients I’ll be “out of the office” from Christmas to New Year’s.

I’ve been trying not to get taken advantage of. It’s really tough when I deal with people who think that my rates are expensive. Things become so difficult. They’re hounding me for discounts when they’re already getting a bargain. I should just forward them to a list of other photographers so they can SEE for themselves how cheap my rates are in comparison… sigh. I asked a mom to choose 30 photos from her session for me to edit. She emailed me back a list of 58. I politely asked her to narrow her selection or pay additional fees for each extra image lol. Here’s an idea for a New Year’s resolution – say no to fussy clients!

Because of all the work piled up I’ve been getting stressed out. It’s this huge burden on the back of my mind wherever I go. Last week was awful because lots of friends were back in town for the holidays and everyone wanted to hang out! That time was crucial for me to be editing photos but I couldn’t say no to my friends (Except Sonlay and Alex, lol. Sorry!!!). That’s the challenge of setting your own work hours. You have to actually work LOL. Discipline is something that I lack…

Anyway. My friends have gone back to school and work and the holiday whirlwind has settled. Back to work!

I have full on wedding fever. I’ve started to indulge in buying wedding magazines – as if my profile on theknot.com wasn’t enough! Luckily I can use my job as an excuse and call it “inspiration” for my artistic work. And I do pay attention to the poses and angles of the photos. But that wasn’t why I bought them. I LOVE thinking about my wedding. The dress, the ring, the color scheme, the bridesmaids’ dresses, the bouquet, the place settings, the centerpieces, the guest list… every little detail! It’s my guilty pleasure. The last magazine I bought had one of those subscription postcards in it and I am TOTALLY going to subscribe. YES! Please send me one full year of Martha Stewart Weddings!!!

Fortunately, Ryan isn’t phased by any of it. He lets me wander off towards the window displays of jewelry stores and even browsed through a wedding magazine with me. “WOW, that dress is ugly. If you wore that, I would cancel the wedding and make you buy a new dress.”

HAHA I found a photo online! This was a full page ad. It is truly hideous.

Ryan and our friend Alex like to talk about what they would do if they won the lottery. It’s all about the cars. They talk about which cars they would get, in what color, which one would be their “commuter car”, how they would take care of all of them, where they would store them (Ryan suggested that the entire first floor of the house would be a garage), etc etc. Last night they were talking about the Ferrari Testarossa… how they would get it in red… and how hilarious it would be to drive them downtown and park them next to each other to make everyone freak out. “It’s rare enough to see one Testarossa, but two…?!?!?”

They offered to buy me a car too. I think I would like a Mini Cooper. ^.^

I get bored pretty quickly during those conversations. Like… REALLY bored. Honestly, I wanted Alex to stop talking and go home so I could have alone time with Ryan. LOL. But in retrospect, it’s so cute the way they talk about winning the lottery. It’s just like me and my dream wedding… except my dream wedding will become a reality someday. The Ferrari Testarossa? … Good luck saving up for that!!

“We only have three weeks left before we leave for Malaysia.”
“Yeah I know. I need to start scheduling less shoots. I won’t be able to give them their photos if I’m out of the country.”
“No, I don’t think you should do that. Keep scheduling them.”
“MOM. I need a break.”

Stop telling me what to do.

Christmas “break” is over (haha, I get to choose my own vacation days) and it’s back to work. Yesterday I had a family session with 17 people which went surprisingly well, though it was tough to get all the little ones to look at the camera and stay still. In a few minutes I’ll be heading off to my birthplace, San Mateo, for a baby shoot. I really don’t want to go. The drive alone is nearly an hour and the mom has called me at least five times to ask questions and confirm the appointment. We haven’t even made a business transaction yet and she already seems to be a fussy client. She also asked the following question: “Do you have the same camera as me?”

…

… Firstly, I do not even know what camera she has, so how could I answer the question; and secondly, it seems counterintuitive to hire a professional if you already own professional equipment. Just sayin’.

Is it unethical to turn away clients that I don’t like? Am I allowed to say “Sorry, I’m fully booked right now”? Next year, I hope to have the freedom to choose who I work with!!

So much anticipation for something so anticlimactic. It reminded me of that scene in 500 Days of Summer, the one with dual panes showing Tom’s Expectations versus Reality.

The party started off okay. I have to say, the food was delicious! My mom made her signature Malaysian chicken curry dish. Actually everyone who comes to our Christmas parties is Malaysian Chinese. You could say they’re like my parents’ home away from home… the family that they never had here in America.

Food was good, conversation at the dinner table was sparse but not painful. The “kids” (now teens and twenty-somethings… er, teens and me) went upstairs to hang out, but were soon called back down to mingle with the guests that arrived late.

And then, after everyone had been fed… well, it just went downhill from there. We sat around the kitchen table and talked, quietly, until there was nothing else left to say. I’m still baffled as to what went wrong. Was everyone shy? Or tired…? My parents kept walking in to see why the kitchen was so silent. “Play Apples to Apples!!” my mom insisted until we finally gave in.

Even the game was played quietly, shyly, politely. We kept it up for a while but it got boring fast.

I was called into the dining room to take pictures of the parents, and that led into a REALLY awkward photo shoot with everyone standing around and watching each family get their photo taken in front of our Christmas tree. Seriously, SO awkward. Why did everyone have to stand around and watch??!?! The kids, now dispersed after taking photos, never recovered. All of them wandered around downstairs aimlessly in a seemingly infinite moment of time, waiting for the party to end.

In an act of desperation, I turned on the wii and invited the oldest teen to play with me. It kept us occupied, but wasn’t very fun. I’m going to blame it on a severe lack of energy from both of us. I guess I was simply burnt out from running errands for the past few days.

It was honestly THE most boring party I have ever been to in my LIFE. I’ve been bored at parties but in the end I’ve always found something to entertain myself, whether it’s texting, isolating myself in a room with a computer, making conversation with strangers, playing games, watching a movie, etc. I’ll give my brother some credit for trying to entertain our guests – he showed them his favorite youtube clips and of course introduced them to sporcle. But even then, nobody was truly engaged. What an embarrassing event.

I will conclude this entry with a hilarious text that Ryan sent to our friend Alex. Luckily I agree with him, so I’m not offended.

“Dude I’m at Fern’s for some party thing. It’s seriously horrible. Words cannot describe”

HAHAHAHAHA.

Words cannot describe.

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - –

Next year I am going to be prepared with Christmas movies and an organized White Elephant gift exchange!!! How was your Christmas Eve?

I joined a forum today. I’m pretty excited. The only problem is, I don’t know what to use as my avatar. I guess I could go without one but that’s boring! It seems like 98% of the members use cartoons, drawings, anime characters, pictures of animals, movie stills – in other words, anything BUT a photo of themselves. AND it’s hard to tell, but it seems like most of them are guys.

What do you think… a cute kitten, a picture of a fern frond, or an actual photo of me…?

These are from my most recent socal trip. The Americana mall in Glendale is breathtaking. Very similar to the Grove in LA, but even better. The photos don’t do it justice.

Glittery Christmas decorations!

Santa’s house.

I love the colors and contrast in this picture.

Isn’t it lovely?

It would’ve been a great place to take photos with my friends but I was extremely self-conscious… I spent all day working up a sweat (literally.. it was 80 degrees… in December) and then met up with friends at night. Next time I’ll set aside a few more days to relax and get dolled up with my girls!

For a glimpse of how this upscale outdoor mall looks in the summer, check out some of my photos from August 2008.

I am very excited to calculate exactly how much I made this month. Who knew accounting could be so much fun?!?!?!?

On Sunday afternoon I took photos at an intimate graduation ceremony with a class of about twenty people. And. it. was. HORRIBLE!!!!! I talked with the student president beforehand about what she wanted me to cover. Each graduate walking down the aisle to their seat, each receiving their diploma, and then group shots of people mingling before and after. Easy enough, right?

No.

I’ll skip the boring details of all the things that went wrong and just sum it up in one sentence – I felt guilty getting paid. I walked back to my car and sat there in the parking garage feeling miserable and defeated. It’s kind of like failing a final, except instead of school, this is real life.

After wallowing in self-pity for an appropriate amount of time, I started the car. Oh, great. The gas tank was empty. I would have to fill up before heading home. I exited the parking garage and drove towards the highway – I could see the ramp just a block ahead. The gas station I pulled into was dark – the gas pump read PUMP IS STOPPED. Sweet. I drove a few blocks more in this residential area and asked a few college kids where the nearest gas station was. They pointed me down the street to another station with no lights on.

At this point I was driving further and further away from the highway entrance and getting pretty desperate. WHERE ARE ALL THE GAS STATIONS??!?!? I finally found one, at least 2-3 miles away from my starting point. There was a line of four cars waiting to pump gas. Seriously, was that the only one in the neighborhood?

My brother took the GPS out of my car and I don’t have a smart phone, so I had two options: a) call a friend and ask them to look up directions for me or b) figure it out myself. This is when I decided to do something that I think most people would not do. I decided to try to find my way home without any help whatsoever. Keep in mind I had never been to this area and I was about 45 minutes away from home.

I clearly remember the first day of my study abroad program in Tokyo. The orientation leader gave us all a talk about safety, culture, and general tips for making the most out of our experience. One thing she said stood out to me in particular. I can’t remember the exact words she used, but the gist of it was to challenge yourself and discover how thrilling it is when you succeed. I ended up putting her advice to use that very afternoon when my group of friends boarding the train while I was still buying my ticket. I got on the train in the wrong direction and yeah… basically got lost in Tokyo by myself lol. It was difficult (I am nowhere near fluent in Japanese) but I was so proud of myself for finding my way back to our apartment.

I thought it would be fun to do something similar. At least this time I had a phone and was in a country that spoke English. Haha. I got on the closest highway (101 N), missed the exit to 880N, then got off on Montague Expressway because that sounded familiar and kept driving on it until I found 880 again. Wow, that description makes it sound uneventful, but it was a driving adventure!!! There were times when I seriously had no idea where I was or if the road I was on would even lead to a highway. I was driving across cities on streets I had never seen… just for fun.

Here’s a visual representation of my journey that night:

The blue route is the one I should have taken.

So… I’m curious. Would you ever voluntarily drive around an unfamiliar place without a GPS or phone?