Words AND pictures still cannot describe the happiness I felt when we ran around and played on the beach. The sand is like a pillow, so soft. The water is the perfect temperature. I could go right in and swim in it if I had a swim suit on. I spent a good half hour chasing the waves and laughing. It was like being on a natural high… so giddy… I couldn’t help grinning and prancing around, making deep footprints in the fluffy sand, giggling when the waves splashed against my legs. I made sure to hold my camera up high when the waves came close. Unfortunately I got sand in the lens cap so I need to wash that out…

Everything feels so surreal right now. I feel so unprepared. Not physically, though. My bags are packed and I’m 99% sure that I’ve remembered everything important – camera, memory cards, batteries, lenses, toothbrush, underwear – oh wait, I need more bras lol – contact lenses, etc.

I hope I didn’t forget anything. Unfortunately, I’m a rather forgetful person.

To tell the truth I don’t even know what time my flight is. But it’s okay, I’m going with Marisa and her family. She’s picking me up in less than an hour…

And by some time tomorrow, I will step off a plane and find myself in paradise. How strange. Traveling is such a strange thing… to be in one place and before you know it, you’re walking on land across the ocean. I’m terrible with words but I think about this all the time when I travel… in sheer awe of simply being somewhere else.

I hope I don’t throw up on the plane.

I promise to be happier when I get there. I will smile and soak in my surroundings and capture some beautiful photographs.

For now… is it okay for me to cry?

When mothers (especially Asian ones) baby their children. I got an inquiry from this mom about taking her son’s senior portraits. We emailed back and forth about the date, time and location. When the day came for the session, I called her and asked if I could get her son’s contact info.

“Does he have a cell phone?”
“Umm… well… yes, he does… but he’ll be with me.”

So she drove him there, picked out an outfit, and tagged along during the entire shoot. This kid was 17 years old. Couldn’t she let him take care of his senior portraits by himself? Like, if he doesn’t have a permit or driver’s license yet, he could still get a ride from a friend. Or she could drop him off. I don’t know, it was weird.

Round and round
And while you’re doing me so wrong
I just keep holding you down
I feel so stupid, foolish
Loving you all this way
But what can I say
I wanna go
But I keep coming back

Listening to this song on repeat.

Hey Cameron,

It’s been a while.

I hung out with Emma this weekend. We didn’t talk about you, but being with her reminded me of you…

I will never quite understand what you saw in me. We couldn’t be more different. Being the timid little girl I was, of course I was intimidated when you asked me to go out with you. But I said okay anyway.

You were the first boy to put his arm around me. I remember that night vividly. We were sitting in the camp dining hall listening to an ensemble concert put on by the campers. You sat next to me at one of those long plastic tables, the kind that they use in the multipurpose rooms of elementary schools. And you reached over and put your arm around my waist. I sucked in my breath and was very, VERY aware of my breathing.

I remember that light blue baseball cap you always wore. It had little chrome spikes on it. SPIKE! That was your nickname. Strange how all the memories come flooding back.

You were such a punk.

I don’t know where I was going with this… just wanted to say hi, I guess. My mind can’t comprehend that your physical body no longer exists.

Rest in peace.

(to Cameron Mitchell-Goulette, July 22, 1989 – November 26, 2006)

I really enjoy photographing couples. I’ve been getting a lot of practice! This was my first shoot in San Francisco. Whenever I visit the museums at Golden Gate Park, I admire the surrounding landscape… so I asked Brooke and Griffin to meet me there for our shoot.

San Francisco is almost always overcast. I bet the lighting would be great there at pretty much any time of the day haha. It feels like winter there even though it’s August!

1. We started off walking through this forested area with tree stumps that we used as chairs.

2. This shot looks like it’s from a fairy tale!!! The funny thing is, those sun rays at the top left of the photo aren’t sun rays. It’s water shooting out from a sprinkler. We were going to walk in that direction but it started moving towards us… and I think they got wet! (I ran away… LOL)

3. We took a stroll around a large pond/lake, looking out for places to take pictures. Griffin asked if we could get that red pagoda in the background. So I did.

4. The colors are so vibrant… I really like how their outfits complemented each other too.

5. Loooove this series… I have a few more really similar to this one, with Brooke’s hair blowing in the wind!

6. Adorable. I want pics like this with Ryan HAHA.

7. Taken at the benches in the middle of that plaza between the deYoung Museum and the California Academy of Sciences.

8. This is both Brooke’s and Griffin’s profile picture on facebook. They liked it because it has both of their signature facial expressions.

Griffin: So… do you and your boyfriend take a lot of pictures then?
Me: HAHAHAH uhhhhhh no.

I haven’t been posting much but I just wanted to share some pics from my birthday dinner last week. I went out to Hana Japan with Ryan and his parents.

Hahaha I think this pic of his mom is so cute!

Ryan’s dad

This group shot came out perfectly!!!! <3

You KNOW it’s a special occasion when Ryan is willing to take more than one picture with me.

It was a weird birthday… not the same as all the other ones. I usually daydream and plan ahead for weeks about what I’m going to do, what I’m going to wear, who I’m going to see, what kind of cake I want… but this year, I was way too busy to even think about it. Earlier in the summer, I had imagined a backyard party decked out with a color scheme and cute decorations (event planning has always been something I was interested in). It didn’t happen. You would not believe how busy I’ve been. Between working at the hospital and managing my business, there has only been time to look at my list of things to do and cry. LOL which is exactly what I did last week.

Oh well, I’ll find another excuse to throw a backyard party. I ended up calling two friends and going out to a crepe cafe for lunch – it was yummy! After that I got a foot massage and full body massage. The lady said I must be really stressed out from work because my shoulders and lower back were so tense. Kinda funny because you wouldn’t think that taking pictures of babies and working from home would be THAT stressful.

Ryan took me out to Hana Japan because they have a special offer where you get to eat for free on your birthday. I guess that’s the Asian side of him, always looking out for a good deal!!! HAHAHA. Well it turns out that the offer only works if you have a party of 4 or more, which is why he invited his parents to come. I’m really glad they did. I enjoy their company. Unfortunately for him, I left my wallet sitting on my desk at home (aughhhhhhh I WOULD)… and without that, there was no free dinner for me. He had to pay for all four of us, full price!!!!! Throughout dinner I kept saying that I could tell my mom or brother to bring my wallet but he kept saying not to bother. I felt so bad.

Even though it was pricey, dinner was entertaining! And tasty. Mmmmm… so much butter.

I’m 22!!!

Tonight I went clubbing for the first time in over a year!!! Last time I went was July 2009… when I wasn’t even 21 yet haha. Lonnnnng overdue because I LOVE dancing. It was a blast. Thank you Alex and Dee for taking me out!! We rode a ridiculously awesome party bus to the club, got sprayed with foam, and drank… water.

What was I going to write about? Oh yeah, I’m like a 6th grader when guys come up and talk to me. I just look at my friends and don’t even respond. It’s so rude. I should just look them in the eye and say “I’m not interested.”, but instead I pretend like I don’t see them and turn away.

I might go out tomorrow!!!

p.s. We didn’t take a single picture.

Better late than never, right?!??!

These were all taken on Friday, July 9th, our first day of exploring the city. ch0w and d_ciao arrived in SF the night before. I’ll post these in parts because there are so many photos.

1. We stayed at my parent’s condo for the night. I tried putting Alex’s wide angle lens on my camera. Of course a photo shouldn’t normally have that black border, but I thought it looked kinda cool.

2. We walked downtown to Powell and Market and stopped by Cako Bakery on O’Farrell.

3. I got the S’Mores cupcake!!! Sorry the DOF is so shallow.

4. The line to get onto the cable cars is always super long, but we waited it out. I got this cool shot of the cable car while they were turning it.

5. View from the cable car going downhill!

6. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

7. After getting dropped off at Ghirardelli Square, we walked over to Fisherman’s Wharf for some tasty clam chowder.

8. The Fisherman’s Wharf sign.

9. Fresh crab!

10. I like colorful things.

11. I also like taking photos of little knick knacks.

12. It was hard to capture the feeling of Pier 39. It’s whimsical, fun, and crowded.

13. We went back to the condo and got some awesome photos from the rooftop observation deck on the 16th floor.

14. It was windy up there!

15. There is a funny little garden in Alamo Square where people have planted things in shoes. I liked this one a lot.

16. Dee and Alex.

17. Chinatown for dinner. Let’s not talk about that… I’m so ashamed LOL.

First thing in the morning. I get yelled at for leaving a water bottle and a soda bottle on the bathroom counter. Two bottles that didn’t get thrown away, oh no. The world is going to end. Next she goes off about my room, which I DID clean yesterday. I know for a fact that on average, my room is much neater than most of my friends’ rooms. I’m not saying that to brag, I’m just saying that it’s NOT THAT BAD.

She says it’s a display of character. She says that there are so many things that need to be fixed about me.

So now I’m crying in my room with the door locked. It hurts. I take everything personally.

I’m not in fucking high school anymore. That was four years ago.

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - –

The sad thing is, I woke up this morning and felt really motivated to get a lot of things done. Well, that interaction just killed my mood, so who knows what I can accomplish now…